“Here, let me help you with that.”
I recently had the privilege to hear Susie Larson speak. I must confess I hadn’t heard of her before this, but by no means is she in anyway forgettable. She poured on the wisdom, just kept coming with truths, miracles and wonderful stories how God worked in her life. And God spoke to me, in a sanctuary filled with hundreds!
At one point she shared a video with us. The clip was about how she was scared of being in the ministry, for fear of being uncovered. She confessed how God had shown her a situation where she had spoken what she felt to be true about someone and had uncovered them. During that, I felt God move on me. He revealed a situation I had just encountered that morning!
My morning consisted of a passionate argument with a friend. They had shared a fear and I argued and attempted to refute their fear. Claiming I was “tired of the devil’s lies being believed”, I pressed on stirring this person to anger and in return myself also. I still felt very strongly about what I had said, but did not want this person to think I didn’t stand by what I said. I wasn’t ready to apologize. Susie stated that God dealt with her for days on this particular situation and she felt like He took her behind the wood-shed! Not much later, this same feeling crossed my path.
That night, after the conference, I went home eager to share the experience with my husband. How God had opened my eyes to what I had done, but I was troubled on how to correct my fault. While doing so, he interrupted to tell me how it was wrong of me to get involved in the argument. I was hurt, and didn’t share the beautiful God-given gem with him that night. I was frustrated that my heart was ready to bare all, and in my vulnerability, my husband cut me down further.
I went to bed hurt and you guessed it, no sleep was had! I stewed about how he wouldn’t listen and ruined the experience I wanted to share with him. The next morning, I carefully laid my hurt out to my husband. And told him I didn’t need him tell me I was wrong, because God had already done that. I asked him to listen while I shared and when I wanted his advice I would ask. He did so carefully and was very helpful when I asked for his advice.
God had been preparing me for this situation. Prior to this happening I ran across this verse but just shuffled by it because I have heard it so many times.
Amplified Bible (AMP)
42 Or how can you say to your brother, Brother, allow me to take out the speck that is in your eye, when you yourself do not see the beam that is in your own eye? You actor (pretender, hypocrite)! First take the beam out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother’s eye.
This verse is so common that it didn’t impact me until God revealed my sin. I always find this a funny passage. Picture two guys. One grimacing because a speck blew into his eye. He is groping around, seeking for help. Enter guy number two. Surprisingly he has an 8 ft 2 x 4 lodged in his eye. He doesn’t seem to be bothered by it, no pain is represented in his body. Its like he’s used to it, that he doesn’t see it or know it’s there anymore. Now watch as he reaches out to help guy #1 with the speck in his eye. There is no way he can see to help #1, if you are viewing this as I see it, he can’t even get close enough to help this guy because the length of his beam.
That’s how my passionate attempt to help a friend with their speck went. My sin, was my passionate pride. My effort to help came across prideful and ended up blocking the aid I was so passionately offering. It held me off, out of “arms reach”, so I couldn’t see the speck. As I reached out to inspect her eye, I harmfully struck my friend with my “pride-beam”.
The problem in the my situation was not with what was said, but HOW it was said. I was not fueled by prayer when speaking to my friend. I was instantly up in arms about the situation and felt it was my Godly duty to tell my friend what they needed to do. I didn’t take one minute to utter a prayer, but pushed forth. The speck wasn’t removed and more pain was added to their situation.
Even if you have the best intentions, PRAY before speaking. Make sure your attempts to help will build them up and not tear them down. Jesus was the son of a carpenter. I am sure He spent enough time around Joseph to pick up a few of his skills. So remember that! When you want to pull a “speck” out of someone else’s eye ask God to remove any beams that are in your eye first.