Showers of Mercy and Grace…Gifts of God

I haven’t always been diligent in offering up time for God.  When I first came to know Christ, I was very passionate about His word, prayer, and worship. Devouring it daily, multiple times even, praying, living in worship. (sigh) But trials came, the winds blew, my heart was broken, and I stopped sitting at the feet of Jesus. I stopped hungering for my savior.  I can’t say I walked away, but I didn’t meet Him like I used to.

Recently, I started reading my bible, journaling about it, and praying it into my heart.  It has begun a good work in me (Phil. 1:6). I have been attending a Mom’s bible study, called Sammy’s which has encouraged and blessed me beyond belief.  God has a plan for us, we just need to be desperate enough to listen to Him and willing to seek Him fervently.  I know He put me in this place, for preparation for what was to come. And what was to come, is NOW upon me.

I found out in the beginning of December 2012 that I was expecting my 3rd child, and boy, was I overjoyed!  My husband and I were at a crossroads with the decision to have more children, me wanting more and him not sure right now.  Things were going very well, no weight gain (YES!), no morning sickness, all in all feeling pretty great, not feeling pregnant at all. I wasn’t worried by this, because with my first pregnancy I felt the same way.

It’s always in the mind of a pregnant woman that miscarriage could happen, but it doesn’t prepare you for the grief that overwhelms you when it does.  I started spotting on January 18th and by January 21st I had lost the baby.  I was nearly 11 weeks along, but baby stopped developing by 8 wks.  The Doctors told me that it could take a week to pass.  I can say that by God’s Mercy, the baby passed quickly and didn’t drag on for the expected time.

I have a wonderful group of Christian friends and family who have covered me with prayers, peace, strength and love.  I know it’s the only reason for my state today. I am able to get up each day, smile, laugh, cry, and carry on taking care of my 2 little beauties.  I have been blessed with meals, treats, cards and messages full of words that speak to my heart. Touching my ache and helping me heal.

I read the following passage the other day and was struck by the repetition of the word Joy. It’s looked at from 3 different perspectives, yet Joy is the result.  My prayer, heart focus, is to aim for a Season of Joy.

” 11 But let all those who take refuge and put their trust in You rejoice; let them ever sing and shout for joy, because You make a covering over them and defend them; let those also who love Your name be joyful in You and be in high spirits. 12 For You, Lord, will bless the [uncompromisingly] righteous [him who is upright and in right standing with You]; as with a shield You will surround him with goodwill (pleasure and favor).” Psalms 5:11-12 Amp

My thoughts; JOY! I am to rejoice because I have refuge, because I can trust You. I can know and rely on that truth. I know He cares for me and He will bless me with JOY. It’s hard to be joyful when life happens, when death happens, when pain takes over. But there is comfort in knowing God fights for me. I know there are seasons of sorrow, but Lord, right now I am seeking a Season of Joy!

And you know what?  God has brought joy to me! I find Joy in silly things and many things that used to annoy me, like my children’s tantrums. He is still working on me, I still get frustrated and lose my cool, but now God speaks to me, whispers to my heart.  Tells me “Rejoice Jenn! I’ve got this, let me fight this battle.”

My prayer, for you, after reading this is:

  • that you are challenged to give God time in your life.
  • that you are encouraged to seek the Joy He has for you.
  • that you are blessed by the words God gave me.
Be  JOYful!
Jenn Larrabee